Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
this hospital has no fireball
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Randomize
