guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
