He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
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