i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Randomize
