And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
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