Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
