Walk of Shame. In a state park.
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
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