Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Randomize
