And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
