he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
