His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
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