We won't sleep together?
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
