Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize
