a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
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