This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
You left your phone here
Wait...
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
