when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
