We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
