I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
You pole danced in your parka.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Randomize
