So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
The uberlube is also flammable
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
