Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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