My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
Even my vagina gasped.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Randomize
