Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Randomize
