All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
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