I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
