New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
If I die, sorry about rent.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
Randomize
