Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future�
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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