I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
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