tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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