Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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