Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
...so i touched it.
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Randomize
