I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Randomize
