omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
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