Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Randomize
