Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
