i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
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