they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
