anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
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