Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
Duck Duck Cougar?
I've blown a few things in my day
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
Randomize
