Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
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