Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
Randomize
