Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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