I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
I am full of burrito and curiosity
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
Randomize
