Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
