Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
