This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
Randomize
