Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Randomize
