ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
