Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
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