I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
