we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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