On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Randomize
