the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
Randomize
